Remember that drinking is a competition, so don’t get left behind! You can get a head start on the competition – and avoid those expensive restaurant prices – by getting tanked up beforehand.
Drunk is loud and loud is fun. Your charisma and coordination only improve with every additional unit of alcohol. So bottoms up!
Wear Offensive Footwear
I have genuinely seen men in motorcycle boots. These offer fantastic protection for your feet. In particular it will shield your delicate heels from the abrasive and hard toes of other dancers.
Ladies, heels that are as tall and narrow as possible. If you do topple, you can regain your balance by spearing another dancer through the calf muscle. Not only will this add unique styling, but will prevent anyone from outshining you.
Don’t Learn Steps
Maybe you dance Jive and find yourself at a Salsa night, or only know cross-body but want to try a Kizomba night?
Just power through every track with the steps you know, everyone else is wrong. While you’re at it, you might as well bust out the Macarena during the cha-cha track.
Be Really Really Serious
Your face should show that your here to win. Your not a child in need of friends. Second place, is first loser.
Assert your dominance over your partner by staring through them. Tut if they make a mistake. Steer them through each move, and repeat moves they got wrong until you have fixed them.
If the serial killer death stare is not your style, then could always be the cool edgy one who refuses to talk, smile or even look at your partner. A free hand can be utilized to check your phone.
[Bonus] Remember That Everyone is Judging you all the time
We not only laugh, but we write them down in a register. If you look like your having too much fun, we’ll report you to the Salsa police who will Shimmy their way through your living room one day and take you to Salsa prison – where your only sustenance will be the fruit you can eat out of the cocktails, dance everywhere and have to spend the remainder of your years wearing sequins.