Six Ways Dancers Will Be Warming Up This Winter

This article won’t make a lot of sense to those “Johnny-come-latelies” who swan in half way through the lesson like they’re going to pick up an Oscar.

But for the punctual and keen (or maybe we just don’t have that much going on) this article is going to address the different personalities who see the starting time as a deadline, not a goal. If we’re five minutes early, we are late!

This article may intrigue the late comers, however, as I’m sure you’ve wondered – “what on earth do these guys do?”. Well we prepare. Each in our own, and special way.

By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail. – Benjamin Franklin

This is not just a Salsa Blog. This is a Newcastle Salsa Blog. So we’ll begin with the most accessible method.

The Traditional English Method

“Hair of the dog that bit you”

While the bar is clear, getting an order or two in is a lot easier. Also, sinking a couple pints before the lessons starts means that even if you’re not quite lubricated enough to find the beat then you’ll be dancing on the spot regardless as your busting for the bathroom.

This noble technique aids with socializing and overcoming beginners jitters. However, it may prove to have a negative affect on overall coordination and any future recall of the lesson.

The Monk

Wax on, wax off.

Calm and clear. Eyes closed,  Mr Miyagi sometimes likes to practice mysterious routines with an invisible partner in slow motion.

Make sure you don’t confuse this guy with…

The Starer

You know the one.

This guy sits in wide eyed awe at the dancers.

He’s gonna join in next time, definitely. But not today. He’s just going to sit down comfortably and watch you in a way that isn’t weird at all.

Johnny McPhone

#hashtags

Face bathed in the eerie glow of a smartphone screen, he sits down and watches a video of the salsa. Checks in to the event, tags you, snap-chats you and proceeds to record everything like a one-man news crew in a disaster zone.

Make sure to add the guy on BookFace or SnapGram so you can get a sweet stabilized, High Definition video of the routine you’ve already forgotten.

You could have taken your own video if you where not to busy gassing to…

The Socialite

Hi, I haven’t seen you in AGES! Well. enough about you…

If they don’t manage to catch-up with you before the lesson starts they’ll just continue the conversation during the lesson.

Even under direct daggers from the instructor and passive aggressive comments, they’ll keep the conversation with the hushed staccato tones as if they where a double agent exchanging nuclear codes.

Keep this one close for all the juiciest gossip!

The Show-Off

Move over Rover

He’s like MJ crossed with John Travolta and he knows it. Moon-walking into the club in disco shoes, this guy is already cutting shapes to the low-volume music the instructor has started playing for all these guys who’ve rocked up 15 minutes early.

Particularly sickening will be the way he somehow adds more steps and spins to the line-up you’ll be trying to follow with the grace of a fat man wading through a swamp.

The Instructor

“It’s actually pronounced Sal-SAH!”

No, not the one you came to see, the other one.

I personally don’t mind people sharing the wealth, unless I get cornered on the way to the bar.


That’s all I can think of for now. Have I missed anyone, is fifteen minutes early enough? Let me know, or don’t.
Just Keep Shimmying!